Don't Turn Your Mental Health Diagnosis Into Your Identity.

When I got diagnosed with schizophrenia, it became my new autistic obsession. I would infodump on people about the major psychotic episode that led to my diagnosis. The schizophrenic author of the book "The Center Cannot Hold" said it didn't define her, and I disagreed. It does explain who you are, I thought.

But I now think that's a mistake.

Mental Health diagnosis are clusters of symptoms that suggest a certain treatment is needed, as opposed to another one. I am not experienced enough to know if this is the correct approach. Different diagnoses often have overlapping symptoms. Psychosis,  for instance, is a symptom of many different diagnoses.

I started thinking I might be something because of Valerie. She had a borderline diagnosis, according to her father on a chat with my brother. I thought I might be narcissistic because of my black and white thinking at the time. I didn't want to flatter myself with a more fashionable diagnosis. I thought I might be borderline as well. Over the years I kept going back to aspergers, high functioning autism, as reading about it seemed to soothe my anxiety at the time. I finally got diagnosed with schizophrenia during a psychotic episode. Although they just had me fill in some questionairs, and didn't really talk to me for long. I found the questions difficult to answer, because they had different answers at different times of my life and of the day even.

People think they finally realize who they are when they get a diagnosis, or diagnose themselves. They make it their identity. I think it's more important to focus on the symptoms, than to embrace that you are a this or that. You can put yourself in a box. You can limit yourself because you think this is who you are.

It's good to be aware of your symptoms, so that you can work with tools (like medicine) to mitigate them. It's good to know yourself, and be aware of your peculiarities and limitations. But don't turn a diagnosis into your whole personality, and put yourself in a tiny box. Diagnoses are a tool for psychiatrists. It's not who you are.


peace ✌️ 💜 

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