How Finally Deleting Social Media Improved My Life

I was born in 1982. As a young kid we had a TV with a dail knob like a radio tuner, and two TV channels. There were only a few hours of programming in the evening. The rest of the time you would see a test screen. 

I spent most of my time playing outside, investigating the creatures in my town, like the spiders. Creatures that have now disappeared.

When I was about 12, we had numerous TV channels and all-day programming, and I got addicted to TV. One cartoon that made me feel like I was on XTC, was the Goofy segment of The Disney Festival.

At around 16, we got internet, and that was my new drug. Posting my ideas on forums, realizing the whole world could read them, was intoxicating.

Posting online is a compulsion for me. I keep checking the feedback, like the views. I feel like I am changing the world, planting seeds. Saving those creatures that are disappearing, by debating and promoting sustainability. 

But posting makes me feel like I'm doing something inappropriate and makes me feel stressed and miserable. I still do it. I'm doing it right now.

I deleted Facebook and Instagram recently. I deleted Reddit a long time ago. I feel much better. I'm still posting here though. For my 5 readers. I think it's the religious instinct to spread your story. The search for meaning.

For the longest time, when I was watching movies or when I was at a concert, I would feel an awkward resistance to the show. It may have been boredom. I wanted the show to end.

Now, having deleted my main social media apps, that awkward feeling has disappeared. I enjoy life more, not messing up my dopamine system with the internet slot machine.

I wish I could go outside and see the creatures of my youth. I remember fields full of bees and butterflies. When I lifted a stone, it would be full of life under it. I saw maybe 3 bees in the last 5 years.


peace ✌️ 💜 

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