Johnny Belgium

I was a stupid kid. I believed studying was cheating. I thought you should just know stuff and how to do things without practice. I also didn't like learning about things because I wanted to preserve the mystery. I also suffer from something called 'avolition', which I called 'the resistance'. It's common in schizophrenics, and is described as a mental paralysis when you have to perform a boring task. Like doing your homework. I think most people feel some resistance when they have to do something boring. But fuck avolition. Chose pain, not pleasure. People have genetic talents, but also a great capacity for improvement. Have a growth mentality.  Don't have a limiting mindset, while also having realistic self-knowledge. Don't believe you are smart. My brain is often telling me: you are one clever cookie. But you have to constantly consider that you may be over-reaching. Anticipate failure. Your belief about a person might be wrong, for instance. Stay hu...

For years I was a doomer and was triggered by some climate activists attacking doomerism. Some accused doomers of secretly working for oil companies. In reality doomers are mostly pessimistic environmentalists. Some accused doomers of making children unalive themselves by making them depressed with pessimistic messages. These are of course 'ad hominem fallacies'. I don't think attacking the bringers of bad news is the same as being optimistic. And: are you trying to persuade people, or own and humiliate them? But one point these "optimists" made, I finally realized does make sense. The argument is: "people need hope to act". My argument against this point was that doomers don't have children, which is the single most impactful thing you can do for the environment. In trying to be a better and healthier person, I unplugged from the doomosphere. I realized that doomerism, perhaps internet activism in general, is a form of addiction. And every time I sn...

I know four stoners that became schizophrenics. One of them killed himself in a psychotic episode. His mother came into his house and saw him hanging from the staircase. It kinda looked like he was standing. She was in schock and did the dishes and was talking to him as if he was still alive and just standing there in the hallway. Another stoner I know is living alone in his grandparents house, and refuses to see anyone. The last time I saw him he was talking about wacky conspiracy theories. That was in 2019. Only his brother has seen him since, 5 years later. He used to be one of the most intelligent people we knew. Weed is often depicted as harmless and even as medicine. People make fun of the movie 'Reefer Madness' that is about marijuana making people insane. Some celebrities promote smoking weed as if it will save the world. But it is a flawed drug. It does create schizophrenics. Weed can have very different effects with different people and at different times. It's ve...

My mind is constantly offering me lies, exaggerations and omissions (leaving important information out). Sometimes this bullsh!t comes out of my head in speech and in writing. But I try to be honest and dismiss these false thoughts. That is not my nature. It's a choice I make.  Sometimes I get stuck in my head and get all upset at something that really doesn’t matter. I argue in my head with hypothetical people, and get all overstimulated. I make bullsh!t arguments nobody hears. When I become aware of this, I take a deep mindful breath, I take my mind back to my body, my breath and my senses, I try to learn a lesson and let go of what upset me. Most of your thoughts are worthless. Don't identify with your thoughts. What really matters are your actions. And I include spoken and written words as actions. Your mind is a bullsh!t artist. Just let it go. peace ✌️ 💜 🌱

I look back with nostalgia to my childhood in the nineties. But I mostly miss the culture. The music, the movies, the television. In many ways, it was also still the dark ages. We didn't have easy access to all the scientific information about nutrition and mental health, for instance. We were pretty ignorant of important facts we consider obvious today.  My mother was a schizophrenic that refused treatment and my father once said that "it was his pedagogical conviction that children raised themselves". His profession was high school teacher, interestingly. My mother and father both came from big families, and really, they should have called child protection. We were left alone to our own devices and I ended up drinking liters of coffee every evening, not realizing what it did to me. I made 2 to 3 pots of coffee every evening. I slept only about 2 or 3 hours every school day, but I rarely missed a day of school. Getting up after 2 hours of sleep was tough. I would be a zo...