How To Meditate And Be Mindful

In 2013 I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital after walking around with psychosis for more than a year. The medication they gave me worked a charm and stopped my psychosis, which at the end had become a non stop nightmare. But the medication also stopped my thoughts and I had a constant feeling of being tired and being restless at the same time. A very uncomfortable feeling.

Once a week there was a group therapy session that alleviated that feeling of tired restlessness. It was called Relaxation Therapy and it was the same every week. We would lie on mattresses on the floor and do a meditation exercise called: the body scan.

In the body scan the ergo therapist guides you as you become aware of every part of your body. The session starts by focusing on and slowing down and deepening your breathing. Then, starting at the toes and going to your head, you become aware of every part of your body and contract and then deeply relax all your muscles one by one.

Once a week, when we had Relaxation Therapy, my awkward feeling of tired restlessness would go away for the rest of the day. I would feel happy and relaxed. That is the power of meditation.

Relaxation Therapy, and the religious theme of my latest psychosis (I remembered being God), sent me on a spiritual quest which found a direction when YouTube offered me a video of Thich Nhat Hanh. Thich Nhat Hanh is a Buddhist monk and the pioneer of Engaged Buddhism and Mindfulness. He doesn’t say so but he is also obviously an atheist. Some of his Dharma talks sound like an introductory lecture to quantum physics. I am also an atheist, when I don’t believe I am God, Jesus or Hanuman.

The following text is inspired by the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh. Meditation/Mindfulness teaches us how to be human, how to be a mind, and how to manifest peace. To create heaven in your mind and then in the world. If you create peace for yourself and your people, then there is peace in the world.

The point of meditation is not to think of nothing. As some people think. The point is to be aware and be in control. To observe your own thoughts and feelings with objectivity and curiosity, instead of identifying and engaging with them, and to be able to transform harmful feelings and thoughts into good ones. To have the mental tools to create happiness. To be able to let go. To be with your breath, body and senses and live in the present moment. Instead of living in your head.

Be Aware Of The Monkey Mind.

There is a small nervous monkey in your mind. It has over active energy. It is easily distracted. It seeks short term awards. It is always anxious and easily scared. It reacts without thinking. It runs on emotion. The monkey gets angry and jealous. The monkey is by its nature not relaxed.

You don’t have to fight your monkey or suppress it. You have to train your monkey. You have to embrace your monkey with compassion and love and teach it how to behave. Don’t let the monkey be in control of your actions. Learn to say NO to the monkey if the monkey is leading you down a harmful path. But sometimes it is time to say YES to the monkey.

Master your emotions and thoughts. Think before you act. Be in control. Observe your thoughts and emotions with curiosity. If you feel a strong emotion, investigate where it came from. Become aware of your triggers. If you know what caused a bad feeling you can take actions to prevent it from happening again.

Do not identify with your thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You are your actions, from the perspective of the world. Which is more important than your thoughts. You are many things.   If your thoughts are harmful, learn how to transform them. Don’t act out harmful thoughts. Never make decisions and take actions motivated by anger for instance.

Transform your bad emotions into positive ones. You can do this with certain tricks like changing your focus, you can put a positive spin on a bad feeling with thought, you can forgive, you can take action, you can talk to your best friend or therapist,...

Sometimes the action you have to take is to write it off. Gather your thoughts in writing. Organize them. Make sure you get the whole thing down. Take your time to write it down. Writing is a great thinking tool. If you are constantly thinking about something, write it down to get it straight and get it out of your head.

One trick to soothe a bad feeling is to control your breath to control your mind. When we are fearful our breath is fast and shallow because the body is preparing to fight or run. But it works the other way as well. Our breath can control our feelings. If you experience stress you can concentrate on breathing deeply and slowly. This will relax your mind. Partly also because you concentrated on something different than your stressful thoughts.

Another trick to relax is to look around and move your eyes from side to side. This is what the eyes do when you are going away from something and towards something else. This will give you a feeling of relief.

Recognize that emotions comes in waves. They peak and go away. They ebb and flow. Emotions come and go.

Smile to yourself. People who are happy smile but when you smile you can get relief. Stay positive even when you feel like shit. That doesn't mean you should hide your pain. But don't wallow in your misery. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Don't get stuck in a misery loop and find your way out. It is important to express your suffering but don't be a complainer. Have a solutions mindset.

Talk to yourself. Correct yourself as if you are your own parent. Develop that inner voice. I talk to myself. When I am in the shop and I want beer I say to myself, “No that’s poison. Alcohol causes cancer”. When I feel like buying junk food I say to myself: “Your veins will get clogged with cholesterol”. When I am walking and I feel like taking a shortcut I say: “No, you are a warrior. Take the long route.”. 

Talk to yourself with positive words. Lift yourself up.

Be mindful of your words.

Think before you speak. Take a moment. Words become actions. Words turn into thoughts and thoughts turn into actions. You can transform people with your words, for good or bad. If you keep telling someone how bad they are, they will show you how bad they can be. If you focus their attention on the good they do, they will show you how good they can be. Maybe not the case with a psychopath but those are rare. Who knows, maybe the psychopath can be healed.

Words are magic. Words create the world. Leaders lead through words. Billionaires talked and wrote themselves into being a billionaire. Be careful of which words you send into the world. They will come back to you.

Do not make harmful jokes. Jokes that have a victim. Also be careful with self depreciating jokes. Don’t badmouth people behind their back. Don’t gossip. Make sure your words are healing and not harmful. It will come back to you.

I talked myself out of liking cars. In my teenage years I developed an obsession with cars. I knew almost every car ever made and all the technology that was in them. In 2013 and 2014 I could not think anymore because of the medication that healed my psychosis. So I started writing to try and retrain my mind on how to think. And it was working.

But because I dreamt of cars I fantasized about writing a book that would get me a lot of money. So that I could buy a collection of cars. The reason for writing became greed. I was constantly thinking about how to make my book as popular as possible and fantasizing about cars. I stopped writing completely and just thought about it. I could not figure out how to write a book so popular. I should have been writing and practicing. Instead I was in my head mostly thinking of what I will buy with all the money.

When I became aware of how cars were affecting me I decided to talk myself out of it. Whenever a car would attract my attention I would speak to myself. I would say “Out of that exhaust comes poison” and I would imagine it entering my lungs and into my blood. “The Lithium in that Tesla came from the labor of children”. “What a waste of money. They could have traveled the world with their loved ones instead”. I would think of the people killed by cars.

It took some time. Maybe three years. But now my obsession with cars is almost gone. Every time some fancy car drives by I think and feel what a stupid thing to buy. I feel sorry for the person who worked hard and then bought that stupid status symbol. What a waste of a life.

There is a time of concentration and there is a time of letting the mind rest and wander around.

Keep track of your thoughts. Are they useful? Make note of your thoughts when you become aware of them. Some of the thoughts that keep coming back are useless. Like an awkward moment you once had. Some trauma perhaps. Learn your lesson and let go of the thought. Bring your focus back to your breathing and your body and your senses. Let the thought float away like a cloud.

It is important to learn from the past and contemplate your memories. It is also important to prepare for the future. But most of the time you have to be in the present. Don’t live your entire life in the past or the future. Be in the present. The present is the only thing that is real. The past and the future are creations of your mind. The greatest gift you can give a loved one is your full attention.

As a child I was addicted to my fantasies. I would imagine scenarios all day and sometimes they made me feel pleasure as strong as a drug. I should have been paying attention instead. Live in the present and in reality. Do not live in your head. I remember almost nothing of my childhood.

Meditation can be concentration. Exercise can be meditation. You concentrate on your body. You can combine meditation with walking or running for instance. You can focus your mind on your body and its movement. And the way your feet kiss the planet. Like Relaxation Therapy this will give you a good feeling and at the same time you are getting in some exercise. Keep bringing your thoughts back to your breath and your body and your senses.

Be aware of the choices you make. 

Some choices are big ones that in one decision make a huge change in your life. But you make choices every day that also accumulate into a big impact in your life. For instance, choose to eat an apple instead of chips. In fact, talk to yourself in the shop and say “Don’t bring those chips into your house”. Eat a banana if you prefer eating that. Be aware that you are making a choice. Big or small. And your choices all together will determine where you end up in life. And all our choices all together, more than 8 billion of us in the world, have an enormous impact on the world. For instance, if the whole world went Vegan, we would free up 75% of the agricultural land.

Click here to read my guide to a Plant Based Diet.

Don’t be judgemental and live in doubt. Ask questions and question everything. Try to understand. Find evidence. Most of the time you have to accept: you don’t know. You are not smart enough to understand and know everything. Most of the time you do not know whether something is wrong or right.

Doubt saves me from doing stupid things when I am psychotic. Things are usually what they appear to be.

When I am psychotic I keep getting a eureka feeling. For instance I think a song on the radio is talking about my life and I get a strong feeling that this is right. If I follow this feeling I will follow it all the way into absolute insanity. But I choose to doubt everything which is why I am reasonable even when I am psychotic. I have heard it many times that I am the best patient they have. That is because I can doubt my hallucinations and feelings and look through my eyes and realize that nothing is happening. Things are what they appear to be. Be guided by reason and not by emotion. Let your emotions follow your reason. 

Don’t focus on being interesting but focus on being interested.

Be present. Be mindful. Listen to people. Don’t just wait till it is your turn to talk. Listen intently and deeply. You don’t always have to have an answer for them. You don’t have to relate it to yourself somehow. Think of questions you can ask instead of thinking about yourself or about giving advice. Help make your conversation partner more interesting, instead of trying to be interesting. Help them reveal a new insight. Give people you like the gift of your full attention.

Forgiveness and Gratitude. 

Forgive people, forgive yourself. Forgiveness does not mean you don’t have boundaries and there is no punishment. But don’t let someone who hurt you live inside your head rent free. Let it go. 

Be grateful for what you have. Most of all the people around you that love you. We have an awesome life here in Belgium. 

Do not cause harm and try to do good things. Let this guide your choices.

Peace!